Hell in a Cell 2014

Sorry for the delay. Life intervenes.

Intercontinental Championship Two-Out-Of-Three-Falls Match: Cesaro v. (c) Dolph Ziggler
This is arguably the most intriguing match on the card, although I'm sure Ambrose v. Rollins will be interesting too. But Cesaro and Ziggler, being treated as mid-carders, have something to prove. This match could steal the show. My pick: Cesaro in three falls, but a win for either would please me.

1. Great back and forth, including alternating pinfall predicaments in the first fall.
2. CESARO SWING! NO! YES!!! "Peroxide hair flying around the ring!" Ziggler kicks out of a pin and counters with his own pin!!! Ziggler wins the first fall!
3. Cesaro didn't grab the ropes when he easily could have broken Ziggler's submission hold. Seemed odd to me.
4. The Superplex was worth the questionable lack of rope-grabbing. Awesome!
5. Cesaro misses the spear in the corner. FAMOUSER! Cesaro kicks out!
6. Huge European Uppercut to counter Ziggler's DDT! Ziggler kicks out! Cesaro ain't happy.
7. Awesome backbreaker! Ziggler kicks out!
8. Superkick! Zig Zag! THREE COUNT! Ziggler wins second fall to retain the IC strap!

Lovely way to start the show. The match was much too interesting to waste with typing. These two made the most of fifteen-plus minutes. I was a little surprised to see Ziggler win it in two falls. Is Cesaro falling out of favor? His treatment is reminding me of how Drew McIntyre went from Vince's "Chosen One" to comic relief with the Three-Man Band. He's not sunk that low yet, but he might. He really needs a rub or something. Team Authority at Survivor Series, perhaps?


Personal Servant Match: Brie Bella v. Nikki Bella
Ugh. Somebody wake me when it's over. My pick: Nikki. Ho hum.

1. Plenty of hair being pulled.
2. Wow. Big knee to Nikki's face. That looked ugly.
3. Torture-rack backbreaker--a "Rack Attack?" Really?--and Brie kicks out.
4. Yes Lock. Nikki reaches the ropes.
5. Forearm shimmy from Nikki. Another Rack Attack and Nikki earns a month of personal service.

No surprises here. The match was okay, but selling the Total Divas show with these two is just cruel. Someone explain to me how the biggest face of the company can be in a romantic relationship with a diva heel, and nothing is made of it.


Tag Team Championship: Usos v. (c) Gold and Stardust
This should be another really good match between these two teams. My pick: the Dusts retain. I'm thinking it's time for someone else to get a chance at the belts. I also think there will be interference...from a returning Ryback with Curtis Axle? Ryback is overdue. I'd rather have him back as a babyface, but we'll see.

1. Nice back-and-forth.
2. Stardust uses the ringpost to try to cripple one of the brothers.
3. Yeah, I agree with the commentators: Goldust moves better now than he did 15 years ago. It's astounding how healthy he looks!
4. Flying Usos!
5. Double Superplexes. Splash! Stardust breaks up the pin.
6. Stardust kicks the Uso in the back of the knee, blocking a Samoan drop. Goldy hits his rolling back drop for the win. The Dusts retain!

Not as energetic a match as we've seen from them previously, but entertaining nonetheless. I don't know who will get the nod against the Dusts next, but these matches will be a hard act to follow.


#1 Contender in Hell in a Cell: Randy Orton v. John Cena
We've seen this before. Should be a good match, though I hope it's not as stale as I worry it might be. My pick: Randy Orton makes more sense against Lesnar.

1. No sizing each other up. The guys are throwing bombs from the start.
2. Orton is the first to use the cage, throwing Cena into it after Cena blocked it a first time.
3. Orton introduces a chair. Cena blocks with a kick. Orton does the same when Cena tries to use it. Chair shots from Orton. Two count.
4. Cena uses the cage, but Randy counters, splitting Cena's downrights with the ringpost. Yikes.
5. Cena goes for a table and sets it up in the ring. Orton knocks it over. Standing drop kick. Cena into the steel chair in the corner. Cena kicks out! 
6. Orton sets the table upright in the corner and hits Cena with a chair shot. Cena slides through a whiplash. Cena goes for a shoulder block and ORTON COUNTERS WITH AN RKO!!! TWO COUNT!!!
7. Orton drives Cena through a table. Two count!
8. Orton brings steps into the ring. Setting up for the RKO! Cena blocks it! Backdrop on the steps! Five-Knuckle Shuffle. Orton slithers out of an AA. LOW BLOW! Cena kicks out!
9. Cena avoids the punt! STF! Orton fights to pull himself out of the ring to break it!
10. Cena throws the steps from the ring, and Orton dodges!
11. Cena's head hits the ringpost!
12. AA! Orton kicks out at 2!
13. Orton reverses the AA with a flying DDT!!! DAYUM!!!
14. AA! Orton kicks out again!
15. Cena brings in another table. He wants the leg drop, but Orton knocks Cena off the rope. Orton goes for a tabled-superplex, but CENA GETS ORTON UP FOR AN AA OFF THE TOP THROUGH THE TABLE!!! Cena with the three! Cena is the #1 Contender to face Lesnar for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship.

Hmm. I guess I should have seen that coming. Is Orton leaving for some reason soon? Or are they setting him up for a rivalry with Rollins? That was a good match, not bloody like I thought it would be. (Yeah, I know--PG. Still, it's been done.) Good to see them trading shots. I don't care that wrestling is fake. That's gotta hurt!!!


United States Championship Match: The Miz v. (c) Sheamus
I'm picking Sheamus with accidental help from Mizdow. I don't expect great matches from the Miz, but Sheamus and Sandow should help him to look decent.

1. Mizdow is much more entertaining than the Miz. I hope this gig turns into something good for Sandow.
2. Miz takes out Mizdow! HA!
3. Rolling Senton from Sheamus on the floor. Good stuff. Miz kicks out when Sheamus gets him in the ring.
4. Irish Curse! Two count!
5. Miz's backbreaker/neckbreaker combo usually looks anemic, but the shot to the turnbuckle helped.
6. Miz with slaps. Now that's just stupid.
7. "Mizdow's Awesome!" chants!!! Yes, he is!
8. Sheamus blocks the Figure Four. Mizdow with the distraction.
9. Skull-Crushing Finale! Sheamus escapes at 2!
10. Brogue Kick counters an off-the-top-rope jump! Three Count! SHEAMUS RETAINS!!!
11. A little fun with the stunt double after the match! That's the most entertaining the Miz gets! And another Brogue!

Sheamus made the match better than it had any right to be. And it would have been much better if Sandow was the one in the match.


Rusev v. Big Show
His shtick is getting old, but it's probably not time for Rusev's push to end, and Show is there to put over the younger talent. My pick: Rusev by submission. The only question: Will Mark Henry interfere?

1. Pink is not Lana's color. WWE Diva Barbie? Did WWE come to an arrangement with Mattel?
2. Rusev takes out Show's leg. Yikes.
3. I can't imagine why Show can't throw his WMD punch from his back and knock Rusev out that way.
4. Even with help from Show, that suplex from Rusevwas impressive.
5. Show counters the Accolade with his own submission hold! Rusev gets to the rope.
6. Mark Henry comes out. Rusev blocks a chokeslam.
7. Show hits a chokeslam! Two count! Rusev rolls out!
8. Mark Henry wants Rusev, but Show sends him back. Henry is distracting to Show. Rusev kicks Show through the ropes. Rusev superkicks Henry off the apron!
9. Rusev locks in the Accolade. Show taps! Rusev wins.

Not a great match. It's not easy for super-heavyweights to make a great match together, although these two are more agile than most super-heavyweights. Not bad, but not great. Will this set up turn for Show? Or maybe from Henry? I assume the two will feud soon.


Divas Championship: Paige v. (c) AJ Lee
I don't like Alicia Fox with Paige, but I assume, with the addition of these two to Total Divas, that this will have something to do with their appearance on that show. I'm picking Paige, though that doesn't make me as happy as it would have before she was added to the cast. So much for the "Anti-Diva."

1. Someone in the audience yelled at Paige, "See some sunrise for once!" *laugh*
2. It's good to see these two in the ring together. This is the best main-roster Diva rivalry we've seen since Trish/Lita. It's nice to have two Divas who actually know how to perform in the ring.
3. Paige controls much of the match until AJ hits knee lifts from the corner and hits a neckbreaker on Paige.
4. Paige goes for RamPaige, but AJ hits a jaw kick. Tornado DDT from AJ! Paige kicks out at 2!
5. AJ skips around the ring with AJ in her arms. Fallaway slam! AJ rolls out.
6. Paige tries to attack AJ from the top of the barricade, but AJ knocks her off. Alicia rolls Paige back in the ring, and AJ locks in the Black Widow! Paige taps! AJ RETAINS!
7. After the match, Paige attacks Alicia and blames her for the loss.

I'm not unhappy with an AJ win here, even if it means Paige falls out of the title picture for a while. I don't want that title mixed up with that show, although it could happen with whomever becomes the next #1 contender.


Hell in a Cell: Dean Ambrose v. Seth Rollins
I'm glad this is the main event. I expect there will be some interference from the Authority, but I'd like to see Orton make his turn here and attack Rollins. I'm picking Dean Ambrose for that very reason.

1. Ambrose comes out with a Kendo stick and climbs to the top of the cell!
2. Rollins yells at Ambrose and gets in the ring. Against the wishes of Noble and Mercury, Rollins climbs up partway, and then he sends two cruiserweights up to get Ambrose. They make the climb, only to get Kendo stick shots! Rollins climbs up the meantime and they go at it!
3. The cruiserweights hold Ambrose down and Rollins uses the Kendo stick.
4. Rollins tells them to throw Ambrose off, and Ambrose fights them off. Rollins tries to climb down and so does Ambrose. Both fall off and go through announce tables! Not quite as nice as when Foley did it, but they both did it. Calling for EMTs, but with 20 minutes left, the match will continue.
5. Ambrose fights off the gurney and runs to attack Rollins! He throws Rollins into the cell and has the ref lock the door. The match begins to a roar from the crowd.
6. Ambrose throws Rollins into the cell wall. He then dives through the ropes and does it again.
7. Rollins drops Ambrose on his back on chairs. Rollins gets a table balanced on the apron against the cell. He tries to suplex Ambrose onto it. Ambrose counters and then elbow drops Rollins through the table!
8. Ambrose turns the cell into a face grater! And Kane uses a fire extinguisher to blind Ambrose. Rollins puts Ambrose through a table.
9. Curb stomp! AMBROSE KICKS OUT!!! Chair shots from Rollins!
10. Rollins sets Ambrose up for Curb Stomp on the briefcase. Ambrose moves away, goes for Dirty Deeds, Rollins counters, Ambrose with the clothesline!
11. Ambrose brings in cinderblocks! Ambrose gets Rollins on the blocks. The lights go out! We hear Bray's voice mumbling something, and there's a lantern in the ring with a projection in smoke. Ambrose is attacked, and we see Bray in the cell doing his creepy spider walk! He hits a chokeslam on Ambrose.
12. Rollins gingerly goes for the pin. Rollins wins. Rollins flees. Bray hits Ambrose with Sister Abigail. "Follow...the buzzards!"

Good match with a surprise twist at the end! I would have liked an Ambrose victory, but a feud with Bray will be good for both Ambrose and Wyatt.

Overall Impressions
They could have given Cesaro/Ziggler another 15 to 20 minutes (especially if they had taken time away from Nikki/Brie and Rusev/Show), and I would have been happy. That being said, I enjoyed most of the show.

Positives
Cesaro/Ziggler was great. Usos/Dusts was fun. Cena/Orton was better than I thought it would be. Sheamus and Mizdow made the Sheamus/Miz match entertaining. AJ/Paige could have had some more time too, but they put on a lovely Divas match. And of course, Ambrose/Rollins delivered. Match of the Night was Cesaro/Ziggler, though Ambrose/Rollins came close. The dual announce table falling spot was contrived, but they could have had another ten minutes and not have it been wasted.




Negatives
BellaFest was...not awful. Show/Rusev wasn't bad, but it was the worst male match on the show.



Looking into the Crystal Ball

• I can see Cesaro and Ziggler getting at least one more match out of this feud, maybe even one more PPV--two if Cesaro is allowed to take the IC belt.
• The Dusts will retain the Tag straps for at least one more PPV, maybe two. I'm not sure where the next contender will come from, as the Usos are the best choice of contender. Unless they bring up the Ascension from NXT, which is a possibility. They've initiated KENTA/Itami well enough that he can stand on his own.
• Nikki will be #1 contender for the Diva Title, but she'll lose. Her buddy Stephanie will step up to try to bring the Diva's belt to the Authority.
• Cena will lose to Lesnar...whenever he's finally allowed to have his match. The Authority will work him over for a while first, including at Survivor Series. 
• Rusev will face and defeat Sheamus and take the US title, only to lose to...KURT ANGLE!!! (No, that's not going to happen.) How about...DAMIEN SANDOW!!! (Yeah, wishful thinking.)
• The Miz will fade into obscurity where he belongs.

See y'all at Survivor Series!