Summer Slam 8/17/14

Pre-show Match: RVD v. Cesaro
A victory by RVD makes no sense, but then again, this match doesn't make much sense either. There's been no real feud build, no real rivalry. I'm picking Cesaro, but I wouldn't be surprised to be wrong. It should be a good match if they both bring their best.

1. RVD rolls and jumps on Cesaro in the corner, and then he does a leg-powered throw to get Cesaro halfway across the ring.
2. Rolling Thunder outside the ring. RVD in control.
3. Cesaro gives a thumb to the eye. Cesaro is getting a bit of pop.
4. Cesaro with a gut-wrench suplex. And they go to a Lesnar/Cena commercial mid-match.
5. Cesaro with a prone headlock on RVD as we come back. RVD works to his feet. RVD runs the ropes, but Cesaro catches him mid-air and hits a back-breaker. Two count!
6. Leg-scissors take-down by RVD, gets a two-count. RVD with a Split-leg moonsault. Two count.
7. RVD goes to the top rope, Cesaro hits an uppercut. Another one. Cesaro gets pushed off the turnbuckle, RVD hit with another uppercut. Cesaro thrown down again, another uppercut! Cesaro goes for the Neutralizer. RVD counters!
8. Cesaro with slaps. Rib kick from RVD, shot to the face. Five-Star Frog Splash! Three count. RVD wins.

This booking makes no sense. RVD is there to put over the younger talent, and this loss by Cesaro doesn't do him any good. Cesaro is a star, and lately his character has been going nowhere. Maybe he needs a babyface turn and get the crowd behind him again.


SUMMER SLAM 2014
Hulk Hogan welcomes us to Summer Slam in Hollywood. He shills for the WWE Network (only $9.99). "Whatcha gonna do?"


Intercontinental Championship Match: The Miz v. Dolph Ziggler
I'm picking the Miz, just because I don't see them giving Dolph Ziggler the belt. Maybe they give Ziggler a DQ win or something, but they've been hesitant to give Ziggler any push because of concussion issues. I'd be happy to be wrong. And I'll be ecstatic if the moneymaker gets broken.

1. (A German announce team? Really? Cool!)
2. Early roll-up attempt by Ziggler, but Miz kicks out. And then Ziggler goes for the face, and Miz rolls out of the ring.
3. Miz slingshots Dolph into the turnbuckle hard, and Dolph sells it well. Miz takes control. Pin attempt by Miz, Dolph kicks out.
4. "You can't wrestle!" chant breaks out. This is most certainly true. Miz is much better than he was when he debuted, but that's like saying LA air is cleaner than it was before they installed air quality control standards.
5. Miz blocks the famouser, tries to throw Dolph out. Dolph punches Miz in the face and then superkicks his face! MONEYMAKER SHOTS!!! TWO COUNT!
6. Miz tries to walk off with the belt, but Ziggler hits the baseball slide kick.
7. Figure Four on Dolph and pulls him away from the ropes, but Ziggler eventually reaches the ropes.
8. Famouser! Skull-Crushing Finale! Miz didn't sell the Famouser at all. Miz with the two-count before Ziggler kicks out.
9. Ziggler ducks a kick. ZIG ZAG! THREE COUNT! ZIGGLER IS THE NEW IC CHAMPION!!!

A much better match than I'd expect from the Miz, but Dolph looked as good as always. Quality match with a pleasing result.


Diva's Championship Match: AJ Lee v. Paige
I'm picking AJ, if for no other reason than that Vince hasn't seemed very high on Paige. Again, I'd be happy to be wrong. These are two of the best (if not the two best) Divas on the roster, and I hope they give these two enough time to show what they've got.

1. Paige skips out. Wow, is she pale. If she and Sheamus were to have children, they'd glow in the dark!
2. AJ bites Paige! Hairpull! She ripped a hefty hank of hair out! *laugh* She smacks Paige's head against the announce table and the apron.
3. AJ climbs on Paige's shoulders. OUCH! Paige bounces AJ face-first off the barricade. Headbutts in the ring. Paige takes control.
4. Knees to the ribs on the apron. Paige takes AJ up the turnbuckles, but AJ fights back and pushes Paige off the apron. AJ dives off the corner onto Paige!!!
5. SHINING WIZARD! Paige kicks out at two!
6. Paige with a side-kick for the two count.
7. BLACK WIDOW!!! Paige counters. RAMPAIGE (DDT) FOR THE THREE COUNT! PAIGE IS THE NEW DIVA'S CHAMPION!

Not quite a long as I'd like, but that was a very good match. I'm happy to see Paige win, and I hope this isn't the end of their feud. The smack talk and physicality after the match makes me think there's at least one or two more championship matches left in this feud. Maybe they'll get more chances to show just how good they really are.


Flag Match: Jack Swagger v. Rusev
I'd like to see Swagger win, but I'm picking Rusev. A loss here almost certainly buries Swagger.

1. Rusev attacks Swagger before the bell, and Swagger locks in the Patriot Lock! He's forced to break it, but wow. Lana tries to call off the match, but the bell rings.
2. Swagger works on the ankle. "WE THE PEOPLE" chant. Rusev is selling the ankle damage. Swagger is demonstrating a brutality we haven't seen in some time.
3. Rusev counters a Swagger Bomb with his knees. Swaggers ribs are taped under his singlet, and he's selling the damage.
4. Nice back and forth between the two. Swagger hits a Swagger Bomb, but his ribs cost him the three count.
5. Rusev tries for the kick, but Swagger catches it. Swagger goes for the Patriot Lock, but Rusev escapes. Kick from Swagger. Two count. Rusev kicks to the ribs, kicks Swagger in the face.
6. Rusev has trouble with the ankle, but he finally locks in a modified Accolade. Swagger reverses into the Patriot Lock! Rusev reaches for the ropes, and when Swagger pulls him away Rusev rolls and kicks him in the ribs.
7. More rib kicks, and then the Accolade. Jack won't tap! He can't escape but won't tape. He finally loses consciousness. The ref calls the match. Rusev wins, and then he kicks Zeb Colter who was kneeling over Swagger. The Russian flag flies over the ring as their national anthem plays. (Is anyone else thinking of "The Hunt for Red October" as this plays?

Swagger did not tap. That's badass, though it would have been more badass if it had lasted a little longer. I remember when "Stone Cold" Steve Austin lost to Bret "the Hitman" Hart when he lost consciousness in the Sharpshooter. I'm glad they don't do this too often, but it worked here. Maybe Swagger isn't going to be buried after all. The gimmick sort of sucked and didn't add anything to the match, but the result was interesting. This feud isn't over, and I expect Swagger to get the last laugh after their next PPV match.


Lumberjack Match: Dean Ambrose v. Seth Rollins

I'm picking Dean Ambrose, though this is sort of a coin-flip match. Either way, the winner won't win cleanly, and that will set up another match at the next PPV. You know the Lumberjacks (and Kane if he's not already one of them) will interfere, and the briefcase may come into play. This match may steal the show.

1.It's a brutal match, and I can't type fast enough to keep up with it. But seeing Ambrose suplex Rollins over the top rope into the lumberjacks was impressive. And then he took out the lumberjacks himself. Wow.
2. Here comes Korporate Kane, sending the 'jacks out to get Ambrose and Rollins. That's going to end badly for everyone concerned.
3. Ambrose just took out all the face lumberjacks as they tried to carry Rollins back into the ring! Wow.
4. Ambrose goes for Dirty Deeds, but Rollins escapes, kicks Ambrose in the head. Rollins does his fake fall-through-the-ropes thing and hits a massive clothesline. Two count
5. AMBROSE HITS ROLLINS' CURB STOMP! Kane breaks up the pin. MASSIVE MELEE ENSUES!
6. Ambrose clears the ring, and Rollins beans him with the MITB briefcase for the win.

AWESOME match, much better than a Lumberjack match has any business being. Plenty of high spots. It stole the show. No question. Looking forward to the aftermath.


Bray Wyatt v. Chris Jericho
I'm picking Bray Wyatt to win the match. Again, I expect one more match out of these two before Jericho goes back to his many other pursuits, but a loss here buries Wyatt needlessly, especially after the clean win at the last PPV.

1. Strange seeing Wyatt in anything but white pants.
2. Jericho goes after Wyatt early.
3. Wyatt knocks Jericho off the top ropes to the floor and takes control. He drives Jericho into the apron and sandwiches him between his knee and the steps. Yikes.
4. The crowd just loves Wyatt. He raises his hands and they start singing his song.
5. Wyatt tosses Jericho into the ring post shoulder-first and then keeps using the post as a weapon. Casual brutality, just what you'd expect from Wyatt.
6. Jericho hits a running Wyatt with a dropkick. Two count. Wyatt answers with a chokeslam and a two count of his own.
7. Jericho counters Sister Abigail with an attempt at the Walls of Jericho. After a bit he locks it in, but Wyatt reaches the ropes.
8. A awkward but deadly-looking sort of DDT on the apron gives Bray a two-count.
9. Jericho flips Wyatt off the top turnbuckle. Two count.
10. Wyatt does the spider walk, and Jericho looks freaked.
11. Codebreaker! Two count before Wyatt touches the rope with his foot to break the count.
12. Jericho misses a baseball slide, and Wyatt hits him hard. Sister Abigal into the barricade!
13. Sister Abigail in the middle of the ring. Three count. Wyatt wins.

Physical match, excellent storytelling. Wyatt was particularly sadistic. Glad I didn't let Molly watch.


Brie Bella v. Stephanie McMahon
I'm picking Stephanie to win, mostly because I think Nikki is going to turn on her sister. (Also, since I expect Cena to get beaten badly by Lesnar, this would be good time for Cena to disappear so Nikki's heel turn doesn't affect him.) This match might be surprisingly good, especially if Steffi has been training as hard as it sounds like she's been training, since Brie was wrestling somewhat better before her storyline departure.

1. Apparently Steffi is dressed for an appointment with Hunter after Summer Slam.
2. Nice back and forth early. It's slow, but not too slow. Other than a few elbow tosses by Brie, not a lot of real wrestling so far.
3. Brie blocks a slap and hits one of her own. She goes for the Yes! Lock, but Steffi escapes.
4. Stephanie clocks Brie as she tries to jump through the ropes. Brie barely beats the 10-count. Steffi hits a DDT. Two count.
5. Steph slingshots over Brie with a neck-snap. The crowd is chanting "You still got it!" to Steph. She's keeping Brie grounded.
6. Brie kicks Steph in the head three times. Steffi runs at her, but Brie hits a Thesz Press and attacks her. Brie takes control. Missile Drop Kick, Steffi kicks out at 2.
7. Hunter runs out, and Nikki follows  Steffi goes for lose behind. Hunter distracts Brie, and Steffi attempts a Pedigree. Brie reverses into a Yes! Lock, and Hunter drags the ref out of the ring. Brie kicks Hunter through the ropes and does the Yes! chant over Hunter.
8. Nikki comes in the ring. She and Brie sandwich Steffi, and then Nikki pushes Steffi out of the way to clock Brie. Steffi hits Brie with the Pedigree while Hunter gets the ref back in the ring. Three count. Stephanie wins.

Surprisingly good match, if predictable. They've done some low thins to sell this match, though, and it will be interesting to see what happens, especially when Daniel Bryan comes back.


Randy Orton v. Roman Reigns
This match has potential, but I don't see it stealing the show. It will probably be slow, albeit physical. I expect Reigns to pick up the win, mostly because Orton has a loss coming to him, and they won't want to break the momentum Reigns has been building.

1. Orton's hands are taped. That's unusual. Will that come into play later?
2. Big right hands from Reigns to open the match, while Orton hits his gut kicks. Reigns looks sharp early.
3. Orton does his around-the-world stomp on Reigns, but he misses a flying knee drop. Reigns goes up top, but Orton gets to him before he can do anything. Superplex from Orton! Two count.
4. Reigns gets Orton in a bastardized sleeper, and Orton falls on him to break it. Reigns goes for it again, and Orton reverses into a side suplex. It's slow and then flashes of action. Strange pace.
5. Samoan Drop! Reigns can't capitalize. Back and forth punches and kicks, headbutts.
6. Reigns hits his flying kick to Orton on the apron and then drives Orton into the barricade. He tries again but Orton reverses, first the barricade and then the ringpost. Two count.
7. Orton drops Reigns on the announce table and then throws him into the steps. Gets him in the ring, but Reigns recovers to drop Orton's neck on the top rope.
8. Reigns tries for a Superplex, but Orton blocks and gets Reigns down. Reigns then punches Orton and climbs back up to the top. Super Samoan Drop from the top! Reigns is slow to go for the pin, and Orton kicks out at 2.
9. Reigns calls the for Superman punch and hits it. Reigns sits back to wait for the Spear. Orton counters with the powerslam. Impressive. Orton hits the hanging DDT.
10. Orton sets up for the RKO. Reigns blocks and runs the ropes, and he leaps for the Superman Punch only to get hit with the RKO! TWO COUNT!
11. Orton takes his time following up while Reigns just lays there. He looks like he's setting up for the Punt as Reigns starts to stir. Reigns avoids it and hits the SPEAR FOR THE THREE COUNT! Reigns wins.

It was, indeed, a slow match, but both Orton and Reigns looked good in this match. A loss here doesn't hurt Orton at all. This was a big test match for Reigns, and he passed with flying colors.


WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match: Brock Lesnar v. John Cena
No chance that Cena wins this. He won't be DQed, and that's the only way he'd retain the belt. Brock will destroy Cena, and this will lead to Cena taking a little time off.

1. Cena should keep his red shirt on so no one can see the blood.
2. Cena tries to take a brawl to Lesnar, but LESNAR HITS AN F5 TWENTY SECONDS INTO THE MATCH. Two count. Wow. This will get ugly. Excuse me. I meant to say that it already is.
3. German Suplex. Cena looks like someone is walking over his grave.
4. Make that two German Suplexes. Surpleces? Hmm... how about GSs?
5. Cena's trying to hang in there, but he's overwhelmed. Knee lift from Lesnar to the ribs. Three GSs.
6. Cena throws a flurry of punches, and Lesnar might as well be yawning. Lesnar with another knee lift. Headlock. Cena throws elbows, and Lesnar just throws him down. (Maybe Rollins should cause a DQ now and then cash in the MITB briefcase.
7. Cena with another flurry, and Lesnar with another knee lift. Then he stands on Cena's hand. Four GSs. Five. Six. Seven. Lesnar looks like he's suffering from heat stroke. Weak cover by Lesnar, and Cena shrugs out at two.
8. Eight GSs. Lesnar has the ref check on Cena, but Cena doesn't quit. Nine GSs. Cena throws elbows when Lesnar goes for 10. He hits a couple shoulder blocks, but Lesnar catches him and goes for an F5. Cena counters and lifts Lesnar. AA!  Lesnar rolls out at two! Lesnar sits up and starts laughing at Cena. He's on his feet and bouncing while Cena is held up by the ropes in the cover.
9. Cena runs at Lesnar, but Lesnar dumps him, straddles him, and starts bombing him with rights and lefts. Cena still won't let the ref stop the match.
10. Ten! Eleven! Twelve! Thirteen! (Someone check my count. I might have missed or added one while typing.) A break, and then Fourteen! Fifteen! Sixteen! Cena locks in the STF while Lesnar yells at the ref! Lesnars in the middle of the ring! Lesnar rolls out of it and hammers away at Cena. F5! And it's over. BROCK LESNAR IS THE NEW WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!

Lesnar looked monstrous. Cena looked powerless, though he absorbed more punishment than we've seen a Superstar take in a long time. At least the Undertaker was able to give some real offense. Cena couldn't even get to three of his Five Moves of Doom. See below for some notes about where I think Lesnar should go from here.




Overall Impressions
Summer Slam is supposed to be the second-biggest event on the WWE calendar, second only to Wrestlemania, of course. Overall it did not disappoint. Definitely worth the price of admission--only (say it with me) $9.99!

Positives
1. As I said, the Miz v. Dolph Ziggler was surprisingly good, and the result was unexpectedly pleasant. Miz is better as an underdog, and Ziggler deserves a push, even if it's only a midcard push for now. He lends extra presence to the IC title.
2. I liked the AJ v. Paige match. Paige is a rising star, and AJ, win or lose, is the top of the ladder. The storytelling has been great, and I'm looking forward to the story continuing for a while.
3. Ambose v. Rollins was the match of the night, hands down. Stole the show.
4. Lesnar did exactly what Heyman said he would do: he absolutely crushed Cena. It wasn't a flashy match. Didn't have to be. Lesnar was devastating. Look out world!
 
Negatives
1. The biggest disappointment was the lack of a WWE Tag Team Championship defense, especially since the Usos have stolen the show the past two PPVs. 
2. The flag match gimmick was unnecessary to the Rusev/Swagger storyline, especially since the flags have been prominent anyway, but that's a minor point. 
3. The pre-show match seemed forced--perhaps that's where a Tag Team Championship match might have been a better choice.

Looking at the Crystal Ball
The big story here is Lesnar. He's a part-time superstar, and while he won't be working a full schedule, rumor has it that he will be around at least as long as Wrestlemania 31. So what does that mean? Will he be WWE World Heavyweight Champion at Wrestlemania 31? That affects who he will face. I've heard that Vince wants Lesnar v. the Rock, but that doesn't have to be--in fact, it should not be--a championship match. Another name that's been mentioned has been Roman Reigns. That would almost certainly have to be for the strap, and Reigns would almost certainly have to win. But what happens in the meantime? Lesnar was made to look like an unstoppable force, and that has to continue. Have him face Orton, who has been demanding a championship match, and let Lesnar destroy him too. Perhaps Lesnar is angering Hunter and Steffi by not being around more, and the Authority sets up Orton being the guy to face him. And then have Lesnar defeat a returning Batista for the same reason. Or, if you need fodder, Kane could face him, but that's the least likely scenario. Notice that I didn't mention Cena. He should never face Lesnar again. He should disappear from the WWE for a few months.

And then, your options split. If you want him to face the Rock at WM31, have him face Roman Reigns for the strap at the Royal Rumble and have him lose it. If you want him to face Reigns at WM31, have him lose the strap to a returning Daniel Bryan, and then have him win it back again before WM31, where Reigns would take it from him. The sad thing is, it will take this long for the WWE to get a top-level babyface ready to face and defeat Lesnar. They could have done it with Cesaro or Ziggler, but they let those two fall too far. Bryan could have done it before his injury, but now we have to wait for his return. And Reigns just isn't ready quite yet. 

Should be interesting times ahead!

SmackDown 8/15/14

1. The Miz opens SmackDown in his pimpin' Santa outfit with Miz TV. As long as we don't need to see him wrestle. His guest is Roman Reigns, who apparently is coming to be mentored. Wake me up when Miz is done talking, eh?
2. Apparently that's the shtick, because Miz keeps interrupting him. Finally Reigns punches him in the face. Best Miz TV ever! Quick promo, and...CUT!
3. Dean Ambrose v. Cesaro. Cesaro is perhaps the biggest afterthought in WWE today. Expect an Ambrose win.
4. Good back and forth before Cesaro takes control.
5. Ambrose launches himself over the top rope to land on Cesaro. He always looks like he has no regard for his own safety.
6. Back from commercial, and Cesaro hits a running european uppercut in the corner. Ambrose knocks Cesaro out of the ring and leaps over the top rope again to land on Cesaro.
7. Ambrose blocks a Superplex. Then he bites his nose. Tornado DDT from Ambrose! Two count!
8. Big clothesline from Cesaro and a two count.
9. Cesaro launches Ambrose and hits a flying european uppercut! Two count. Sick! And then what looks like a face-first AA! Two count.
10. Ambrose bounces off the ropes and hits a clothesline for two. Ambrose hits Dirty Deeds out of nowhere! Three count! Ambrose wins a show-stealer!
11. Rollins comes out to interrupt the celebration. Nice heel promo.
12. Nice. Miz is walking in back with ice on his face. Kane pulls him aside and makes Miz v. Reigns for tonight.
13. Next is Dolph Ziggler v. Titus O'Neil (with Heath Slater in his corner--sort of). Ziggler comes out to a big pop. I'm probably wrong, but I'm picking Ziggler.
14. Ziggler shows of early. He hits a beautiful drop kick on Titus. Titus answers with backbreakers and starts barking and cover Dolph for two. Splashes in the corner.
15. Ziggler with a leaping clothesline and another dropkick. O'Neil answers with a kick to the face. Two count.
16. Zig Zag out of nowhere! Three count! Ziggler wins! Good quick match.
17. Mark Henry (with Big Show) v. Luke Harper (with Eric Rowan). Harper and Rowan have seemingly fallen off the map faster than even Cesaro. Henry will probably get the win off a botched Rowan distraction.
18. Henry throws Harper out of the ring. Harper is unfazed.
19. Harper with a running boot to the face to knock Henry over, gets a two count. Big uppercut. Two count.
20. Henry is grounded. Power punches to get free. Henry preps for World's Strongest Slam when Rowan interferes. DQ win for Henry.
21. Tag match: Show/Henry v. Jr Wyatts made by Kane. Show is working over Harper. Harper makes a comeback and blocks a chokeslam. Show splashes Harper and runs him over. Harper ducks out to avoid chokeslam. Rowan runs show over from behind.
22. Harper tags Rowan to work over Show. One-count. Chokes Show in the ropes. Quick tag, Superkick from Harper. Two count.
23. Harper has Show grounded. Side slam! Show makes the hot tag! Henry takes it to Rowan with splashes. Harper tries to interfere as Henry picks Rowan up. Show blocks Harper and then KOs Rowan as Henry hits the World's Strongest Slam! Three count! Show/Henry win!
24. AJ Lee v. Eva Marie. Again. *sigh* Paige will cost AJ the match again. (Anything that makes Eva look even remotely like a winner is a bad thing.)
25. Eva doesn't even look convincing when she goes for slaps! Neckbreaker by AJ. Two count. Wow. AJ just pulled out a big hunk of hair extension!
26. Paige skips out, and AJ attacks Paige immediately. AJ throws Paige into the barricade and beats her head into the barricade over and over. Quickest 10-count ever as AJ can't make it back in the ring in time. Eva gets the count-out win.
27. AJ turns around, and Paige kicks her in the head and hits the Paige Turner.
28. Swagger v. Bo Dallas. Calling it for Swagger. Can Bo...Leave? WE...THE PEOPLE!!!
29. Swagger's ribs are taped. Bo goes after them. Swagger locks in the Patriot Lock quickly. Bo taps! That's about 30 seconds. Plenty of Bo.
30. Rusev and Lana come out, and Lana cuts a promo about the flag match.
31. Main Event: Miz v. Reigns. I'm picking Reigns.
32. Reigns takes control early. Miz hits a face punch, and he runs away again. Reigns catches him and throws him into the barricade twice.
33. Miz goes up top, but Reigns hits a gut punch. Miz works on Reigns' leg to set up the Figure Four. He uses the ring post to damage Reigns.
34. Figure Four! One-count. Reigns powers out. Miz with clubbing head shots. Miz misses Reigns and shoulders the ring post. Samoan drop! Punch to the face! Jumping kick on the apron!
35. Miz runs from Superman, but Ziggler comes out. Miz turns around and takes Superman! Reigns throws him in the ring and hits the Spear! Three count! Reigns wins!

Pretty good matches for the last show before Summer Slam. Bring on the show!

RAW 8/11/14 (Hulu edition)

1. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...MY NAME IS PAUL...HEYMAN! As always, Paul, you get right down to the point and let us know exactly what your client, the BEAST, BROCK...LESNAR...will do at Summer Slam. And I believe he *will* do it. After all, it's what's best for business, and "bad things happen to good people when they step into the ring with Brock Lesnar." Paul Heyman is the greatest manager in the history of the WWE. (Bobby Heenan was until Paul showed up.) Great promo. Heyman promises that Lesnar will lay a smackdown the likes of a Shakespearean tragedy.

2. Oh... "Hint, hint"? Does that mean Hulk Hogan is going to get his tuchus handed to him during tonight's birthday celebration?

3. Oh, and Heyman goes with the rhyme to mock the Doctor of Thuganomics! GREAT STUFF!!!

4. Weird Al with the birthday wishes for Hulk Hogan!!! YES!!!

5. Korporate Kane is back. Apparently he gave Steffi his mask last week because he felt he let the Authority down by not beating Reigns. *sigh* I was hoping he'd oppose the Authority before this was all over. Maybe he still will.

6. Korporate Kane makes a handicap match between Roman Reigns and AxleBack. (Nope, still won't call them RybAxle.) I think Reigns wins a brutal match and then takes a beatdown.

7. Yes, I think it's about time to turn Ryback again. He's a better face than a heel. They ended his face run much too soon, and it would be cool to hear "Feed me more" again without the jeers attached.

8. Reigns kept control until Axle provided a distraction (twice) on the apron. And it's probably getting ugly during the commercial.

9. AxleBack DQed for throwing Reigns into the ringpost after they'd been warned. They try to take him out, but he makes a comeback in the ring. He throws Ryback out of the ring and hits his jump-kick on Axel. Then he throws Ryback into the ringpost and hits his Superman Punch on both. SPEAR on Ryback. SPEAR on Axle. Guess I had it backwards.

10. In the ring, Reigns tells Renee that he's not scared of Orton. Then we go backstage, where Orton takes a shot at Kane for not getting the job done last week. Kane tells Orton he has a match tonight against Sheamus to get him ready for Summer Slam.

11. Steffi brings out Daniel Bryan's supposed physical therapist, "Megan," who says that she and Daniel have been having an affair. Brie comes out and smacks the hell out of Megan and then attacks Steffi, locking in the Yes! Lock until Finley and Jamie Noble break them up. Steffi says this will be finished tonight rather than at Summer Slam.

12. Drew Brees birthday wishes! 

13. Nice back and forth between Bray Wyatt and Chris Jericho. Jericho promises to be the first one to leave Bray speechless! I'd love to see that!

14. AJ vs. Eva Marie. AJ should win easily, but will Paige cause issues? Eva doesn't have the tools to beat anyone, but she will probably win this match. But I think she'll pay for it after. 

15. Paige with the distraction, skipping around the ring. Eva rolls her up for the quick non-title victory. 

16. Paige recites a Roses Are Red poem to apologize for pushing AJ off the stage last week. What's with all the rhyming this week? 

17. Eva is still at ringside for some reason, and AJ beats the heck out of her. Now *that* is entertainment! Then she skips away with the Divas belt.

18. John Cena comes out (in a new red hat and shirt--he needs to go classic and wear the 8-bit shirt). When's did he last wrestle? Anyway, Cena promises that he will not lay down for Brock Lesnar. He says he will...not...lose, that Brock doesn't deserve the championship. He pretty much calls Brock a mercenary. He has the crowd run through all their various chants: "You can't wrestle;" "Let's go Cena;" "Cena suck!" He says he won't turn, but he will become a beast to fight the beast. He calls Brock out, but Brock doesn't come out. "This Sunday, I am the one that beats the one." I may not be a huge fan of this match, but the build-up by Heyman and Cena has been n56othing short of brilliant.

19. Brie nearly trips as she stalks down to the ring. Steffi comes out and says the match has to wait until Summer Slam because "Megan" is pressing charges against Brie for assaulting her. Steffi says she'll see Brie at Summer Slam...if Brie makes bail.

20. Main event: Sheamus v. Orton. I assume Orton wins, but there may be some funny business after.

21. The match started disappointingly slow, but we've seen pretty much everything you'd expect from these two. 

22. And Sheamus mocks Orton's fist pound before missing the Brogue. Sheamus then counters the RKO. He goes up top, but Sheamus hits the RKO when Sheamus jumps and pins him for the victory. Looked impressive, thought not as impressive when he hit the RKO on Evan Bourne who was in flight doing his 360 splash.

23. "Mean" Gene Okerlund and "The Mouth of the South" Jimmy Hart are out to introduce Hulk Hogan! All the superstars are on the stage as Hogan comes out. And yes, I did mark out hard when Hogan's music hit. Nice video tribute. Hulk shills for the WWE Network.

24. Time to mark out again! Out comes Ric Flair! (Great to have Mean Gene announcing! Love that voice!) Paul Orndorff! Love the kaiser stache! Wow, does he look old! Rowdy Roddy Piper! 

25. And here's Kevin Nash and Scott Hall for the NWO reunion! YES!!! Wow, do they look ancient! Hulk actually looks a little overwhelmed. HEY YO!!! Scott sounds pretty good...for how bad he's sounded at times lately. Hulk has the Black and White under the Red and Gold! Nash sings the birthday song to Hogan...

26. ...and Lesnar interrupts and comes to the ring. No sign of the other superstars on the stage. Lesnar looks disparagingly on the Geritol Generation as he stands on the apron. Lesnar bumps Piper. Hulk tries to look ready for action. Lesnar calls him "Grampa" and tells him the party's over.

27. Cena runs down to the ring, spoiling for a fight. Lesnar smiles and climbs out of the ring as the show fades to black.

Not a great show, but the build to Summer Slam was good, and the chance to mark out on the classic superstars was worth the price of admission.

SmackDown 8/8/14

1. Dean Ambrose comes out. "You can't plan for Dean Ambrose." He's so much fun on the microphone. "We could have a 'Loser Washes Triple H's Car' match, but I'm pretty sure Seth Rollins already does that." Good stuff!
2. Seth Rollins comes out to gripe at Ambrose. He gives Ambrose credit for being clever on Raw. He demands that Ambrose name the stipulation for the match.
3. Great interplay between Rollins and Ambrose. I don't know if people thought Ambrose would be the kind of star he's becoming. Ambrose names his stipulation: a Lumberjack match. "August 17 is the day 'Mr. Money in the Bank' goes broke." Awesome. Seth responds that he gets to choose Ambrose's opponent for tonight and books Ambrose v. Randy Orton.
4. Mark Henry and Big Show v. AxleBack. Is the ring going to hold all that? I'm picking the World's Biggest Athlete and the World's Strongest Man to beat the meatheads in the World's Slowest Match. Good to have Show back in action.
5. Nice to see that Ryback stopped wearing that scary Orange singlet that made him look naked.
6. A quick slow match, to be sure. It ends with Henry hitting Axle with the World's Strongest Slam as Big Show chokeslammed Ryback for the pinfall victory. Show held Ryback up for a good five seconds before he threw him down. Not unimpressive.
7. Ziggler mocks the Rollins briefcase--"it looks like a movie theatre's floor"--and Rollins decides to challenge Ziggler to a match. That should be excellent.
8. Sin Cara v. "United States Border Patrol officer" Damien Sandow. How sad that Sandow is about to get his tuchus handed to him again. *sigh* He deserves better.
9. Sandow got in a little offense, but Hunico--er, Sin Cara, that is--takes Sandow down within about three minutes.
10. The lengthy video segment on Cena/Lesnar again. *sigh*
11. Ziggler v. Rollins. Please let this be a long match. Rollins will win, but it will be a good match if they're allowed time to shine.
12. Rollins hits the Three Amigos. Not going to make you very popular in Texas, gringo.
13. No one does a drop kick as pretty as Dolph Ziggler.
14. FAMOUSER!!! And Rollins kicks out.
15. Rollins throws Ziggler into the ring post and then the steps. Curb Stomp, and Rollins gets the pinfall victory. Not as exciting a match as I thought it would be, though it had its moments.
16. Wake me up when Orton is done talking. The voices in your head need new writers, Randy.
17. Natalya v. Paige. Paige should win. Will it be a good match? It should be. These are two of the best performers in the Divas division.
18. Sharpshooter about 30 seconds in. Paige reaches the ropes quickly. *sigh* I hope it's not going to be one of those matches.
19. Paige Tap Out (scorpion lock) forces Natty to tap. Much too quick a match. The PTO looks legitimately painful.
20. Rusev v. Big E. We've seen this before, and I wasn't too excited then. Rusev's run of destruction continues.
21. Rusev beats up Big E quickly. Ho hum.
22. Review of Brie/Steffi from RAW. Zzzzz...
23. Main Event: Ambrose v. Orton. Whether or not he wins, Ambrose is going to take a beating after the match.
24. Not a lot of  stuff until Ambrose hits a tornado DDT. Orton kicks out at 2.
25. Orton throws Ambrose into the steel steps twice. Goes for the second-rope DDT but Ambrose throws him over the ropes.
26. Rollins comes to ringside. Ambrose knocks him off the apron. Orton goes for the RKO, but Ambrose reverses and hits Dirty Deeds. He goes for the pin, but Rollins pulls him out and hits him. The ref calls for the bell. The two-on-one eventually overcomes Ambrose. Rollins pours pop over him and continues taunting him.Filly he hits Curb Stomp.

Not a terribly exciting episode. Of course, my internet was being uncooperative, so that didn't help, but the show had too many quick matches.

RAW 8/4/14 (Hulu Edition)

1. The Authority (Hunter, Steffi, Orton, Kane) comes out. They just happen to mention that Summer Slam is coming, and that it will be on the WWE Network, which is available for only $9.99. Yeah, they just happen to mention it...about ten times. On the bright side, at least they got the crowd involved. Actually, it was sort of cute. All they needed was HBK to come out to shill like he and Hunter used to do in DX.

2. They also announce a "Beat the Clock" challenge where either Dean Ambrose (facing Alberto del Rio) or Seth Rollins (facing Rob Van Dam who, I believe, is injured) will be able to name the stipulation for their match at Summer Slam. (With whom will they replace RVD?)

3. Orton starts to blab about destroying Roman Reigns and how the Viper is back, when Roman's music hits and he comes into the crowd. He's got a great deal for Hunter: he'll destroy Orton tonight for free. Instead, Hunter makes Reigns v. Kane for tonight. And Hunter expects to see the demon. It will be a Last Man Standing match.

4. Kane v. Reigns in a Last Man Standing match. Expect brutality. Expect destruction. Expect Reigns to pull out the win in what will be a very slow match.

5. Barricades, steps, kendo sticks. Reigns gets busted open. Steel chair. Chokeslam through a table. And Reigns barely beats the count.

6. Kane goes for the Tombstone, but Reigns escapes and hits a DDT on a chair. Superman punch! Kane goes for the chokeslam. Reversal. SPEAR! And Kane is out for the ten-count.

7. Hype for Cena v. Lesnar at Summer Slam with a video segment. Ten minutes? I don't know, but it seemed like it took forever. Lesnar promises blood, urine, and vomit. Not a great delivery from him, but he sounds so much like a psychopath that it doesn't matter.

8. Hogan will be on next week! NWO Reunion?

9. Dean Ambrose v. AdR in a "Beat the Clock" match. Expect Ambrose to win, but it's not going to be quick.

10. AdR has had the upper hand for the first couple minutes, but Ambrose makes a short comeback before AdR throws him into the barricade. AdR is keeping him grounded.

11. Small package! And AdR kicks out and clotheslines Ambrose. AdR back in control. Ambrose into the ringpost.

12. Another ringpost for Ambrose. Ambrose makes a comeback. AdR blocks a Tornado DDT, kicks Ambrose in the head. (Commercial time.)

13. Superplex? and Ambrose kicks out. Ambrose rolls him up, and AdR kicks out. AdR puts him in the CrossArmbreaker in the ropes, breaks before the 5-count. DIRTY DEEDS OUT OF NOWHERE! Ambrose wins! Time to beat is 15:42. 

14. Review of the Brie Bella/Steffi McMahon mishegas. More to come later. *sigh*

15. Rusev v. Sin Cara began during the commercial, and Rusev ended it so fast that all we saw was the celebration. Lana then gives a promo comparing Putin and Obama. (Please don't do that. He looks bad enough on his own.) Lana sang "Happy Birthday" to Obama in Russian. (Do they have to pay for that?) And Zeb and Swagger come out. Nice promo from Zeb. Rusev moves to leave the ring, but he attacks Swagger with the Russian flag and beats him down and knocks him out of the ring. Rusev and Lana stare down Zeb, but Lana calls Rusev off before he can attack.

16. Kane comes into the Authority's office, hands Steffi his mask, and walks out, his face unseen. No words are spoken. What does this mean? Is Kane done? (Is this because Hunter expected the demon from Kane and Kane lost?)

17. Chris Jericho v. Luke Harper. If Jericho wins, Harper will be banned from ringside at Summer Slam. I expect Jericho to win, but he'll pay a price for it tonight. Rowan comes down to the ring with Harper. I'd like to see a lengthy match. I love Harper's move set.

18. Powerbomb from Harper! Jericho kicks out. Jericho kicks Rowan off the apron. Jericho goes for Walls of Jericho and locks it in! Lights go out and Bray is at ringside. Rowan tries to attack from behind, and Jericho hits Codebreaker. Then he hits Harper with Codebreaker. Bray attacks from behind. DQ win for Jericho, but he's paying for it. Bray hits Sister Abigail. FOLLOW...THE BUZZARDS!!!

19. Quick promo from Orton threatening to kick off Roman's head.

20. RVD v. Seth Rollins in a "Beat the Clock" challenge, and the time to beat is 15:42. RVD is in the ring, but the announcement is made that RVD is being replaced with Heath Slater. Unsurprising. RVD hasn't been in a match in a while, and I thought he was injured. I can't imagine Slater wins, but something weird is going to happen. (Why are they still using "Three Man Band" for Slater when the other two are no longer with the company?)

21. Rollins offers to let Slater walk out and just be counted out of the match. Slater hits him. Slater looked a bit like a ginger Drew McIntyre there for a minute. Rollins doesn't react well.

22. Dean Ambrose comes out to ringside. Slater hits a neckbreaker, but Rollins kicks out. Ambrose begins to toy with the MitB briefcase as the match continues. Ambrose rips up the contract as Rollins looks on. Slater hits a kick, Rollins kicks out. Rollins goes on the attack...while Ambrose pours a drink in the briefcase and then a bucket of popcorn. And there goes JBL's ten-gallon hat! *laugh* Ambrose holds up the briefcase and it leaks over the announcers.

23. Slater rolls up Rollins! THREE COUNT! SLATER WINS!!! HA! Rollins blames the announce crew and then opens the disgusting briefcase. THAT was quality television!

24. Promo from Bray. His brothers won't be with him at Summer Slam, but he's never alone. Creepy stuff.

25. Brie/Steffi contract signing. This won't end well for Brie. Or Nikki for that matter. Hunter calls Steffi an icon. Steffi makes fun of Brie because her husband Daniel Bryan isn't there. Brie brings up Steffi's arrest. She says she's fighting for all the superstars Steffi has abused over the years. (CM PUNK chant!) Contracts are signed. Steffi Pedigrees Nikki while Hunter traps Brie in the corner with the table. Brie slaps the ever-loving hell out of Hunter, and Steffi slams Brie's head into a table and nails her with a Pedigree. Steffi mocks the yes chant as the show ends. Honestly, I don't think Brie has the star power to close Raw, whether she's wrestling or not.

Not on Hulu:

1. No Damien Sandow v. Mark Henry. Like we need to see another Sandow squash.

2. No Cesaro v. Ziggler. If this had been a long match, I'd have been ticked, as they could put on a clinic. Apparently it was a very quick match, though, so it's probably for the best.

3. No Paige segment.

4. No AxelBack v. the Dusts. We're missing a lot of build for Goldust and Stardust here.

5. No Fandango v. Diego, which is fine by me.

6. No Bo(bo the Clown) Dallas v. R-Truth. Thank you.

Pretty good show. No great matches, but the Summer Slam build was worthwhile.

SmackDown 8/1/14

1. WE...THE PEOPLE!!! Swagger v. Cesaro. They changed the siren in Cesaro's music to make it even more annoying. Cesaro can't catch a break lately, so Swagger wins what should be a good match between former partners.
2. Gutwrench Suplex by Cesaro. His brute strength is impressive.
3. Cesaro's uppercuts always look deadly. Ouch!
4. Underhook Powerbomb! Beautiful!
5. Patriot Lock! Cesaro taps to give Swagger the submission victory. Not a great match, but it was a nice showcase of Cesaro's ability.
6. Rusev comes out during Swagger's celebration, and Lana extends the challenge to Swagger to have a flag match at Summer Slam. Zeb accepts!
7. Orton whines about Roman Reigns and his attacks. He challenges Reigns to a match at Summer Slam. At least it was a quick segment.
8. R-Truth v Bo(gus) Dallas. Apparently he lost on RAW and wants a rematch. Does the losing streak continue? I hope so. Otherwise this match is as appealing as a kick in the knee.
9. Bo gets DQed quickly when he won't release Truth in the ropes. Maybe this will be good for him. Now if he'll just stop saying BOlieve. *sigh*
10. AJ v. Rosa Mendes. At least there should be a Paige appearance. AJ should make quick work of Rosa. Rosa is saying she deserves a title shot.
11. Extremely quick Black Widow for the submission win. So much for Rosa getting a title shot. AJ skips up the ramp, and Paige blindsides her off the stage.
12. Solid quick promo from Dean Ambrose.
13. AJ is wheeled out of the arena. I hope she and Paige have a great Summer Slam match.
14. Ambrose v. Kane and Seth Rollins. Isn't it time for Kane to turn on the Authority? Probably not.
15. Quite vicious all around. Ambrose gets DQed when he hits Kane and Rollins with a chair. Ambrose hits Kane with a DDT on the chair while Rollins runs away. More chair shots on Kane. Would have liked more action.
16. Fandango v. Diego. Diego will win (and I hope it will be quick) after the ladies distract Fandango.
17. The ladies tango with Torito, and Diego hits the distracted Fandango with a backstabber.
18. AdR v. Dolph Ziggler with Miz at ringside. I expect AdR will get the win. Will Miz distract during the match, force a DQ, or attack after the match? I don't like AdR, but it should be a good match until the end.
19. Miz stands up to make a speech. Dolph is distracted, but AdR misses. Dolph hits Famouser. Miz keeps yakking and Dolph attack him. AdR attacks Ziggler on the apron and then locks in the Armbreaker for the submission win. *sigh*
20. Fozzy is providing one of the theme songs for Summer Slam. Jericho actually sounds pretty good.
21. Replay of the Steffi/Brie confrontation on RAW.
22. Bray delivers another creepy promo.
23. Main Event: Eric Rowan v. Chris Jericho with the stipulation that Rowan will be banned from ringside at SummerSlam if he loses. I think Jericho wins the match, but it might cost him after.
24. Harper gets tossed from ringside after he messes with Jericho.
25. I don't know what kind of mic skill Rowan has, but physically he's impressive. Quite a move set he has.
26. Lionsault! Rowan kicks out at 2.
27. Jericho blocks a Super-Fireman Toss. Kick to the head, and Jericho kicks out at 2.
28. Codebreaker! Pinfall victory for Jericho! Rowan won't be at ringside for Summer Slam!

Better build for Summer Slam this week. No stand-out matches except the main event--in fact, most of them were too short--but I liked the promos.

RAW 7/28/14 (Hulu edition)

1. Video recap of last Monday's events.
2. John Cena comes out to a mixed reaction. He ain't looking happy about Plan C. Excellent promo: not his usual jokes, no rhymes, just a lot of truth.
3. And out comes Heyman. Even better than Cena's promo.
4. Excellent response from Cena.
5. Cesaro comes out and hugs Heyman. Nice response from Cesaro, calling Cena a walking billboard who can't wrestle.
6. Cena v. Cesaro. They had a great match before, and I hope this one is just as good. Cena will win, of course, but Cesaro will bring out the best in him.
7. Not Cena's best Hurricanrana.
8. Cesaro Swing! They let him do it! They haven't let him do it in a while. And then an ankle lock. Cena counters and tries the STF, but Cesaro gets away. Going for the five moves of doom, but Cesaro gets out.
9. Cross-body from Cesaro, Cena catches him and rolls through. AA, but Cesaro lands on his feet! FLYING UPPERCUT! And Cena gets his shoulders up at 2.
10. Neutralizer, bit Cena counters. Head kicks from Cesaro and Cena both.
11. Super AA! Cena gets the pinfall victory in an excellent match. (I missed the superplex earlier, dammit!)
12. Paige! Hi, Paige! Please don't just make her into another lunatic. She was good on the mic.
13. AJ comes out and has a nice response. Paige calls AJ "crazy," and AJ doesn't take it very well. Nice! AJ goes on the attack! I love the interplay between the two. This should be a great matchup at Summer Slam.
14. Hunter and Steffi come out. Steffi looks freaked. Hunter vents his displeasure at the WWE Universe. "JAILBIRD! JAILBIRD! JAILBIRD!" Why don't you just go whine online, Hunter? Maybe you should take your tights and go home. I love how the crowd is chanting "Yes!" as he's talking about them laughing at Steffi's arrest last week. Steffi invites Brie to come out.
15. Jericho comes out instead. He starts singing the "Cops" theme song! The crowd picks up on it. AWESOME!!! This is great TV!
16. Seth Rollins comes out to attack Jericho from behind. Hunter makes Rollins v. Jericho for tonight.
17. Lana really need something beside that bunhead. But that was a solid promo. Swagger and Zeb Colter come out, and Colter gives her whatfor! WE...THE PEOPLE!!! Rusev and Swagger go at it at ringside. Rusev gets the upper hand, but Swagger avoids the accolade. Swagger goes for the Patriot Lock, but Rusev gets out of the ring and flees up the ramp as Swagger and Zeb wave the flag in the ring.
18. Kane v. Roman Reigns. I'd like to see Kane win, but he'll do what he's there to do: put over the younger talent. Prediction: Reigns wins a physical bout.
19. Reigns is attacked by Orton before Reigns can reach the barricade. Reigns is attacking both Orton and Kane. Reigns hits Superman on Orton, but Kane hits the Chokeslam on Reigns. Kane leaves the ring, and Orton continues to attack Reigns. Reigns thrown into the steps, hit with the Orton DDT. RKO on the announce table. Another one, this time through the announce table. Orton poses over him.
20. Jericho v. Rollins. Rollins gets the win, but it should be a fun match to watch.
21. A lot of activity in this match. The powerbomb into the turnbuckles from Rollins particularly nasty.
22. Rollins misses Curb Stomp. Jericho goes for the Walls, but Rollins reaches the ropes.
23. Rollins leaps, but Jericho hits him with the Codebreaker. The lights go out immediately, and the Junior Wyatts are in the ring when they come back on. They beat Jericho down, and then Bray hits him with Sister Abigail.
24. Steffi comes to the ring, and Steffi expresses how her life has changed since her arrest last week, how no one can look her in the eye. She's scarred for life.
25. Brie comes out (they don't hit her music until she's almost at ringside), and she tells Steffi to get to the point. Steffi asks her to drop the charges, that no one deserves this. Brie says Steffi deserves to go to hell for how she's treated the Bellas. Steffi says Nikki will get a raise. Brie says that's okay, but Brie has demands. Brie wants her job back. Steffi says one Bella in WWE is enough. Brie says, "See you in court." Brie agrees to drop all charges...if Steffi faces her at Summer Slam. Steffi says it's been 10 years since she's wrestled, that she's a career woman, a wife, mom now. Brie won't agree. Steffi finally agrees, but then she slaps Brie and says that she's going to make Brie her bitch. They brawl, and Hunter and other backstage agents (Jamie Noble, Fit Finlay, and Joey Mercury) break them up as they go off the air.

Not on Hulu:
1. Miz and AxleBack v. Ziggler and the Usos. I would have enjoyed that. The Usos have been stealing the show all the time lately.
2. R-Truth v. Bo Dallas. Zzzzzzzz...
3. Sandow v. Rose. Probably for the best. I'm tired of seeing this match, especially since Rose keeps winning.
4. No Fandango v. Diego. No skin off my teeth.
5. No Natty and Naomi v. Cameron and Alicia Fox. Again, not disappointed.

I really enjoyed the show. They spent a little too much time on Steffi/Brie throughout, which meant no Usos/Dolph v. Miz/AxleBack, but what they showed was a lot of fun to watch. They Cena/Heyman segment was excellent, as was the Cena/Cesaro match.