Tuesday, July 22, 2014

RAW 7/21/14 (Hulu edition)

1. Hunter comes out to bitch and moan about Cena retaining the WWE World Heavyweight Championship, and then he takes a mocking shot at the fans who complain online and threaten to stop watching if they don't get what they want. He then begins to talk about what his next move is to bring the belt back to the Authority. He says Cena won't leave Summer Slam with the title. Orton comes out to make his case to face Cena, blaming Kane for not watching his back. Kane comes out to put his name in the hat. Reigns comes out and says no one wants to see Kane or Orton face Cena again, and he asserts that everyone wants to see Reigns v. Cena. Hunter decides to make Kane and Orton v. Reigns today, and he will make the decision some time during the show.
2. Orton & Kane v. Reigns. My prediction: Orton plays the spoiled brat and refuses to work with Kane. Reigns wins.
3. The match is pretty slow, but it's vicious. Superman punches, Somoan drops, throwing people into the steps, haymakers...
4. Reigns is taking it to Kane. Orton tries to intervene, and Reigns knocks him off the apron. Kane momentarily gets the upper hand and tries to tag Orton, but Orton refuses the tag. Kane goes to chokeslam Orton, but Reigns hits the Superman punch on Kane, hits him with a Spear, and pins him for the win. Orton is walking away while Reigns celebrates in the ring. Orton fakes a return to the ring, but he backs off again. I don't like how Kane gets made to look like the whipping boy, but it was a good match.
5. Alicia Fox, Cameron, Rosa Mendes, and Eva Marie v. Nikki Bella. Brie is in the crowd as a paying customer. Steffi comes out to make fun of Brie for "quitting" WWE for the sake of her husband. Brie steals the mic and calls her a bitch. Steffi takes the mic back and slaps Brie and has security take her out. (That's going to come back to bite her in the tuchus, I'm sure.)
6. The mob beats on Nikki and Alicia pins her for the quick win. Steffi stands over her and tells her that Nikki will quit like Brie did..
7. The Wyatts come out to host Jericho's Highlight Reel. Bray was supposed to be the guest, but the Wyatts assaulted Jericho during a backstage interview. Bray delivers more spoken gold, asserting that Chris Jericho isn't there for the WWE Universe, but Bray is. "Society is my plaything." Nice!
8. I'm glad the feud isn't over between Jericho and Bray. I didn't think they'd leave it at that, but one never knows with the WWE these days.
9. Great. Flo Rida is coming. *sigh* Do we have to see that?
10. Intercontinental Champion Miz v. Dolph Zigger in a non-title match. I'd like to think Ziggler wins, setting up a match at Summer Slam.
11. Hey Miz? Any blow to your face is an improvement.
12. Nice back and forth, decent pace to the match to start with. Miz goes after Ziggler's legs to prep for the Figure Four.
13. Miz locks in the Figure Four, but Ziggler reaches the ropes. Miz tries to get it again, but Ziggler hits the Famouser! Miz kicks out at 2.
14. Miz blocks the Zig Zag. Dolph blocks the Skull Crusing Finale. Miz worries about his "moneymaker" when ZIGGLER HITS ZIG ZAG FOR THE WIN!
15. And CESARO PUTS HIS NAME IN THE HAT!!! Oh, that would be awesome. He and Cena had one of the matches of the year. Cesaro is no longer a Heyman guy; he wants to be Hunter's guy. Hunter makes Cesaro v. Ambrose to give Cesaro a chance to impress him.
16. Paige and AJ v. Natty and Emma! The four most talented Divas on the roster in one match! It will probably be only two minutes before Paige and AJ get the win, and Paige is going to turn on AJ after, but for two minutes, it should be a good match.
17. Nice back and forth between AJ and Emma. Paige and Emma get a turn. Emma locks in her rope hold, and tags Natty when she's forced to break. Natty and Paige, and Natty throws Paige and then locks in the Sharpshooter. Paige is about to reach the ropes when AJ tags herself in and hits Natty with the Shining Wizard and locks in the Black Widow for the submission win. Nice match, way too quick.
18. AJ goes skipping outside to celebrate. When she comes back in, AJ and Paige hug, only for Paige to pull her down by her hair and headbutt the heck out of AJ. She throws AJ out of the ring and into a barricade and then the steel ring post. She throws AJ over the announce table! HEEL TURN!!! W00t! And the frenemies are just enemies now! ANd Paige skips out! GREAT STUFF!!!
19. Steffi comes into announce Flo Rida. Ugh. I guess we do have to see this. But that's what the mute button is for!
20. Steffi sends Flo off with more applause. But here come the cops! HA! I KNEW IT!!! Steffi's in trouble for assaulting Brie. Will they take her out in cuffs? And where's Hunter?
21. There's the cuffs! HA! And Brie's there to rub it in. (Those cuffs are awful loose.) Steffi threatens the officers. Hunter stops the cops, but he backs off when he sees the badge. They go to drive off, and Hunter says he'll be right behind her. Now *that* was funny!
22. "Family always comes first...but I have a little time, so..." And Hunter decides to wait until he announces his decision.
23. Cesaro v. Ambrose. Ambrose will win somehow, because they have to be building for Cena/Lesnar at Summer Slam, but it should be a fun match to watch.
24. Cesaro throws Ambrose into a ring post. And, wow, a back suplex off the ring and onto the floor. He's so convincingly brutal. Is he going to DQ himself?
25. No! Ambrose DQs himself! Steel chair!
26. Hunter comes out to announce the Number One contender. Orton's music hits. He comes out, but Reigns ambushes him. Hunter stands there confused when Heyman comes out and tells him he needs Plan C. And out comes Lesnar. And they shake hands on it, and Hunter runs off to get Steffi out of jail. Heyman proceeds to deliver a fantastic promo. (I mean it. Go back and watch it.)

Not on hulu:
1. No Bo(gus) Dallas v. Damien Sandow. Good. I'm tired of seeing Sandow job to idiots.
2. No Fandango v. Zack Ryder. I hear Zack even won! Would have been nice to see that. Oh well.
3. No Axelback v. Kofi Kingston and Big E. We didn't get to see the birth of the new Nation of Domination.
4. No Rusev v. Khali. Good. That ship has sailed, and I wish it would take Khali with it.

Overall this was a good show. The diva tag match could have been longer, and I could have done without Flo Rida. Otherwise, I enjoyed the matches, and even the diva beatdown was worth it to see Steffi arrested. Yeah, it was that funny!

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